Hitting and Yelling
Nothing has hurt my feelings more than Seger hitting me. It happens almost every day. I do not have the energy to write about it now but i need guidance and patience to help him stop.
Today he yelled at his friend, Leo Hart, and it sounded like me when i have my serious-voice on. I didn’t like the way i sound.
IN JUST ONE DAY
Today, Seger and i were driving in the car to the hardware store and he sang the ABCs. He has never made is past D! Up until today he sang it like this ‘ABCD ABC’. And then today, BLAM! EVERY FREAKIN LETTER!?
Then, at dinner he winked at me. He turned his head all the way sideways as if he needed to blink so i leaned over to see the side of his face with the open eye and it was in fact a blink!
Lastly, he gets in bed with the book that is usually in the rotation and he is always requesting, GO DOGS GO, and starts reading it. As in the correct words for the page. i know he is not reading words but Jesus!
All in one day!
It’s been a difficult 2 weeks of transitioning to toddler bed. He’s doing so well and frankly, with friends support, I am too. I stayed consistent, calm and loving every time he got out and he went from 53x exiting the bed to 2. Tonight it was 2x and then an hour later he had this sad cry for me so I went To the door and could hear him walking. When I opened it he was sitting on the floor whimpering. I wanted so desperately to bring him to my room but its best to let him sleep in his own whenever he will. So I laid him down and to my surprise he was sleeping already. Like, the whole time I’m pretty sure.
I am much better at outdoor activities than inside. I get bored of trying to inspire him to read, draw, play gently with a guitar. I love jumping swinging and running around doing anything. So, for now I will do just that. I keep getting schooled to get him in preschool. That’s day care. I am def having a hard time getting my life done. I fucking hate shopping for food or anything else when we are together (although he’s so exhausted tonight from the transition from crib to bed that he hung on my back in the baby carrier like an angel when we went to the camping store tonight). I don’t think day care is necessary for a 2 year old. I wanna see his nanny get her shit all the way together as well as have him able to sleep in for the next 6 months and then reevaluate. Anyway, he’ll know how to have fun, count ( ilove numbers) and socialize. Maybe he should get to school soon.
So many new words, new behaviors, new developments happen every day. How do people keep up? How do you celebrate all of it and not take it for granted. Slowing down has never been my speed. It seems the only way I can fully be engaged and not miss it.What is going to be the things I choose to take off the list so I can be present in my sons life. I have a lot of responsibility to 23 employees. I have to buy food and to buy local,reasonable, whole and a variety of foods I have to shop at 4 different places. None of which sell diapers. We have to play but we don’t live closer than a15 min drive to friends so we have to travel to hang with them. I have to have an excersize practice for a 46 year old body (which I haven’t) or he’ll have an old decrepit mom. I have a brother with schizophrenia, a wonderful step dad with Parkinsonism who my mom is insisting on not getting outside help for, 4 sibling, and 4 nieces and nephews that Seger loves deeply, a broken dishwasher termites, a rotting deck, a huge dent in my car for months, and teeth to brush.. I never mentioned my friendships that mean so so much to me. What the fuck can I give up to be able to be the mom he so deserves?