About a week ago I snapped and Seger grabbed my hand and asked me to do it again while he watched closely. I never was aware of when or how much I snapped (approximately every other day) until he became so interested. Yesterday he made this weird hand-motion which took me a minute to figure out what he was doing. It was interesting timing. He was finishing up a tantrum. He’s turning out to be one of the smartest most interesting person I know. Think I’m bias.
Whenever I snap Seger asks to watch my fingers. That’s what he’s like. He’s uber inquisitive and wants to try everything.
Visiting a restaurant is rarely fun.
Why? Other people seem to be able to have their kids at dinner? I study it while it’s happening. I’m fearful and a little on edge in hopes that it goes well and I’m certain that’s not helping. Sometimes it’s epic but it has to be perfect conditions. First mistake is too close to bed time which means I’ve have to go around 530 at the latest. Lame! Second things is whatever the waitress brings out first he will devour so ‘please don’t bring a huge cup of apple juice and chips’ if the fist thing they brought was steamed broccoli that’s what he’d eat all of. I get this burst of excitement when we are walking into the restaurant thinking we are going to have a nice mommy son date and in the first 5 min he picks up soy sauce and pours it in everything that will hold it and gets pissed when I stop him. He threw the chop stix when he got frustrated and only ate white rice. I ordered everything on the menu he’d like but he’d already drank 16 ounces of apple juice. I’m sure we need practice. I have a mind to donit once a week as training instead of a nice time for me. Yeah that’s what I’ll do. Otherwise it’s all about me not getting to have dining experiences vs him needing to learn how to so them. Seger eats more whole foods than any other kid I know and that’s because we eat home cooked meals 99% of the time.
I forgot to mention a friend walked up to say hi and he head butted his chest and wouldn’t say hi. Might chalk that off to tired but I think we really just have a need for practice and timing.
Seger has been using a pacifier to calm himself and get to sleep from the time I brought him home until yesterday. Yesterday he gave it to our friend Sydney because ‘she’s a baby and he’s big’. It’s been an addiction for him. I mean for real addiction. It’s so much more than soothing. So, knowing it had to be done because it wasn’t healthy, we just did it. He is so emotional and I am so sad. It’s a major loss. He’s not sleeping. He looking for it all night. I am letting him be a jerk, and kick me and have the craziest tantrums and I’m just hugging him. I’m imagining a heroine addict going thru withdrawals. I cry for his loss where he can’t see me. He whimpers in bed longing for it. I turned down breakfast with my dad and his cousin this morn knowing it was important to my dad because I know Seger doesn’t give a shit about meeting second cousins that he’ll never remember. Those are oddly hard decisions for me. I don’t like to disappoint people but I really believe I have to step up for Seger in situations like this.
Last night I read to him as I’m falling asleep and he was so restless. I said I’m going to bed and I locked all the childproof locks so he couldn’t get out and passed out. He came in my room to check to make sure I was sleeping then went to sleep. 10 last night. 11 the night before and midnight the first night. It seems it’s getting better every day.
About every other day Seger does this hacking noise and I look up and he’s holding his thumb and pointer together in front of him and says. ’ hair’. I can’t tell yet if he’s grossed out or just keen.